His View

Devastation had penetrated him to the core with the loss of his ability to provide for our family. There was talk of God hating him. Often, he’d say we’d be better off without him. Over the years I tried to be the dutiful wife and cheer him up. I’d try to show him how important he was to our family. I attempted to help him to understand that we loved him and always would, no matter what life hurled at us. He was too far gone to hear my pleadings. The light I had once seen in him was gone. He wasn’t the same man I married.  Five years into this battle I found myself frustrated and overwhelmed with the depression that lingered in our home. Sunday mornings were the worst because we’d fight right before church. I tried to help him see that he needed to come to church to feel the love of God. He’d claim God didn’t love him so it would be a waste of his time going. I didn’t want to get a divorce, but I was starting to see no other option. He brought such a heavy feeling into our home that I didn’t want to be around him anymore.

One particular Sunday I was having a hard time concentrating on the talks. I was so focused on the morning fight. Rehashing all the negative behaviors my husband was now accustom to. At one point, I was aware enough to know that my Bishop was up at the pulpit and sharing a story given by a General Authority. To this day, I have no clue what was said before or what was said after, but I vividly have the image burned in my mind. The Bishop saying, “Help me to see him as you see him.” That phrase pierced me to my very soul. It could not have been clearer to me at that time was what I needed to be praying for. I instantly, with tears in my eyes, humbly pleaded in silent prayer to my Heavenly Father. I prayed for forgiveness for my thoughts and feelings towards my husband. I also pleaded that He would help me to see him as He sees him.

I was reminded of the above moment while reading from H. Wallace Goddard book, “Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage: Powerful Principles with Eternal Results.” He stated, “We can ask Father to help us see our partner and his or her struggles with the loving-kindness with which He views them.” (Goddard, 2015, p. 36) Previous to the moment above I had specifically asked Heavenly Father in prayer to help me with one of my more challenging children. I had reminded myself that she is His daughter. Why not go to Him for assistance in how I could help her through her journey here on earth? It never dawned on me that I could ask for the exact same guidance in helping my husband through his journey. It makes a world of difference once you listen to the direction given from our loving Heavenly Father in how to reach out and love His children.

Goddard, H. W. (2007). Drawing heaven into your marriage: powerful principles with eternal results. Fairfax, VA: Meridian Pub.